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Helping Loved Ones Cope

Mental Illness isn't rare.


Because millions of us live with a mental health condition, you are very likely to encounter people with a mental illness in your family or in your daily life. What are the things that you shouldn't do or words that you shouldn't say to respect those in need? The followings may help:​

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Things to Avoid Doing

  • Criticising, blaming or raising your voice at them.

  • Showing any form of hostility towards them.

  • Assuming things about them or their situation.

  • Being sarcastic or making jokes about their condition.

  • Patronizing them or saying anything condescending.

  • Talking too much, too rapidly, too loudly. Silence and pauses are ok.

 

Things to Avoid Saying

  • "Just pray about it."

  • "You just need to change your attitude."

  • "Everyone feels that way sometimes."

  • "You have the same illness as my (whoever)."

  • "Yes, we all feel a little crazy now and then."

  • "Chill. Life is hard for everyone."

  • "Stop being such a boring person. Think positively."

  • "Stop harping on the negative, you should just start living."

Be supportive! Your Support matters!

As shown in the hierarchy graph, "support" form the basis to the path of recovery. Everyone needs support – especially those who are living with the symptoms of mental illness. What are the simple yet effective things we can do to support others to cope mental illness? Use the following tips to form your own creative techniques!

Encourage them

When someone else you know is dealing with mental illness giving them encouragement is one of the best things you can do. Showing compassion lets them know that you care about them and that they are not alone. This can help build their mental strength and resilience for quicker recovery.

  • Let them know when you see them making progress with their mental illness. For example, you might say, "I’ve noticed that you are getting out of the house more. That’s great!"
     

  • If they need support, try listening to them without judgment. Encourage them to come to you again if they need it.

  • Encourage them to seek or continue treatment if they aren’t currently working with a professional. You could try saying, "Have you talked with your doctor about how you are feeling?"
     

  • You can also tell them things like, "I know you can overcome this." Statements like that will let them know that you believe in them.

Advocate for Others

Stigma and misunderstanding surrounding mental illness can cause the person to feel the same shame, embarrassment, nervousness, and fear to share their feelings. You can make a difference. Advocating for them help raise awareness of the issues, encouraging the patients to stand up for themselves.

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  • When appropriate, educate people in your community about mental health in general and how they can support people with mental illness.
     

  • If you notice someone being mean or disrespectful then speak up and tell them to stop. You can say, "Just because he/she has depression doesn’t mean he/she deserves to be treated like that."

Check on Them

You can support someone you care about with dealing with mental illness if you make the time to check on them on a regular basis. This ensures that they are doing good and actively combating their symptoms. Talks help. Speaking things out allow the patients to be less stressful.

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  • Ask them how they are coping with their mental illness. You may also want to ask if there is anything you can do to help.
     

  • Call the person every few days or so just to catch up and see how things are going in their life.
     

  • You can also send a quick text or message to touch base and see if they need anything.
     

  • If you know the person is having an especially hard time coping with their mental illness, you should encourage them to see a mental health professional.

However, if you are still unsure of how best to approach someone who may be struggling, the following tips may help:

1. Be informed 

To feel confident and have a better understanding of the person's illness, you can do the following, for instance:

  • Read books, papers or articles on the matter 

  • Watch shows about the subject 

  • Attend conferences or training sessions 

  • Attend a support group for members of the entourage of someone with a mental illness 

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2. Develop a helpful approach towards the person suffering 

  • Show them that you can put yourself in their shoes and understand what they are going through. Avoid preaching to them and dictating what you would do in their place 

  • Congratulate them on the positive changes they make, changes in attitude and behaviour, for instance 

  • Be patient. Remember that sometimes, the road to recovery can be long and difficult. 

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3. Say what you think positively 

For example, you can say, “I am worried about how you are always locking yourself up in your room and that you barely eat. I am sad about what is happening.” This is more effective than, “You barely eat, and you are always in your room. What do you think is happening to you?”

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4. Encourage the person suffering to seek help when necessary 

Here are a few examples of changes you could notice:

  • They increasingly isolate themselves in the bedroom or elsewhere 

  • They have trouble sleeping or eating 

  • They consume alcohol or take drugs 

  • They have difficulty expressing themselves or concentrating 

  • They appear far away (with an empty gaze) 

  • They claim to be persecuted by a group of people but have no proof of it 

  • They think you can read their mind, and they hear voices in their head 
     

If you can notice any of these changes, this could be a sign it is necessary for the person to consult a doctor.

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